My dog is about a BILLION times manlier than your dog. What is your dog’s FACE?!!!!!! I am laughing and I cannot stop.
Your dog is wearing an argyle sweater, with a shit-eating grin on its face. Probably literally. Also, you are holding him like a burrito. That is all.
Is that what you do with sad little things that you find on your adventures? Bring them home and dress them up and carry them around like they’re burritos?